Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize
