the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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