we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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