she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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