Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Randomize
