would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
