You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
