Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Randomize