New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
