what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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