i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
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