I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
