My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
