Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
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