I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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