and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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