So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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