doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Four minutes until I can fart!
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
