In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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