She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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