what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
