I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
