She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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