How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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