And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
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