we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
