So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Randomize
