remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
My pussy is not your playground.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
