what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize