just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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