I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
