FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
