She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
