They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
