do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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