I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
