this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
