You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
