Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
