she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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