He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Randomize
