is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
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