Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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