I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
