hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
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