I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
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