That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
