why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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