When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
false alarm, still single
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
