im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
