Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
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