Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Someone shattered a urinal.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
