Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
