I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize