I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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