Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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