You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
